Well, here I am writing my first DA journal entry in close to three years. I can't believe it's been that long, but honestly, I just haven't had the creativity that I once had. I remember first getting my Intuos2 graphic tablet and having a blast. Even around that time I was messing with Flash and Terragen. So every week I had created something and every month I had something worthy to submit to DA. The driving desire only lasted for about two and a half years though. The end of 2004 saw the end of that driving desire to create.

It’s been nearly three years since then and I have hardly anything to show for it. At times I even wondered if I had lost my creative side. I realize now that my creative side didn’t die, it just needed to be nurtured. Over the past three I’ve been going to community college for Architecture, all the while feeling like I made a mistake to ever begin the program.

From the start I wanted to get a degree in graphic design or fine art. The reason I didn’t was because the building for the art classes was too far of a drive, not to mention it’s located in a bad part of town. So my father coaxed me into getting an AAS degree in Architecture. I wish then I could’ve realized how many calculations, and numbers are involved with architecture.

For the record I hate mathematics, because math has always confused me. Arithmetic I’m fine with, but when they want me to know how to find some out-there number that has to do with nothing based in reality, or a number too large to remember I end up not caring and losing focus. This past spring saw me failing pre-calculus II for the second time, and in order for me to take the class again I need special permission from a counselor.

Being fed up with the whole thing I decided to take this fall 2007 semester off. I want time to just sit down and really think about where I’m going in life. Over the past three years at school I’ve just been “going with the flow” of things, which has apparently gotten me nowhere. Just recently I even held a part-time job with a landscape architecture firm for two months to see how I liked the real world application of what I’m learning. It turns out that I hated the job, and I would’ve rather shot myself in the foot to get out of work than stay there. So I quit the job.

That pretty much brings us up to right now. About an hour ago I finished working on a holiday-themed postcard for the company my sister works for. I got the opportunity to put my pen to the tablet when my sister told her company that I do graphic design. I accepted the freelance position of course, though I was concerned about my skills being rusty since it has been so long since I’ve created anything notable.

Now that I have no more graphic design work to look forward to at the moment I find myself sitting at my computer at 3 o’clock in the morning wondering if a full-time graphic design job is in store for me. My creativity is still not up to par with how it used to be, but creating the holiday postcard sparked some of my interest in drawing again. I wonder if this will be the beginning of a creative phase in my life, again.